Perception.
Noun: the act or faculty of perceiving, or apprehending by means of the senses or of the mind; cognition; understanding. (dictionary.com)
But it's not simply the fact that you receive something via your senses.
It's the way you do it.
It's the way you react to what you perceive.
Our individual experiences are vastly different. Many, many factors influence the way we digest the world. Location, family dynamics, economic status, and life experiences to name a few. Something that appears "this" way to one person , will appear a different way to another.
For example: a 16 ounce bottle of clean, clear water may seem perfectly ordinary to me...but to a parched child in Nigeria it's a precious commodity. Yes, that is an extreme example. (A very real and current global issue; but that's for another discussion.)
Another, longer, more relate-able illustration: Recently, someone I know (I'll call him 'Joe') was telling me about the time his wife was in the hospital to have an emergency procedure. She had to spend the night, and she was in a lot of pain. Naturally, as her husband, he wanted her to feel better ASAP! Apparently she did not have any pain medication orders on her chart, other than what had already been given. Joe had asked the nurse to contact the "on-call" doctor during the night to get more or different medicine, but it barely scratched the surface of her pain. When the doctor came through in the morning to see her, he told her (and 'Joe') that he would put an order in for a different, additional pain medicine. 'Joe' said, "The nurse that shift was awful. It took FOREVER for her to bring the medicine, so long that I had to go to the nurse's desk and demand that she bring it now." 'Joe' said she him that she had just gotten the order and was retrieving the medicine when he got to the desk, but he was skeptical. Being an inquisitive woman, (and a nurse) I had to ask, "How long did you have to wait?" I expected him to tell me it was an hour or more. It was 20 minutes. Twenty. minutes.
A tidbit of background: 'Joe' knows how hospitals are supposed to work, because he has worked in hospital administration (as CEO, administrator, consultant, etc) for as long as I can remember. I also know how hospitals are supposed to work, because I have been a nurse for 25 years.
In just this scenario, there are several "layers" affecting the perception of people.
- 'Joe': believes that 20 minutes was much too long for my aunt to wait for her pain medication. After all, he was there when the doctor said he was ordering the medicine. His perception is that the nurse is not concerned about his wife's pain, therefore she's being slow, the doctors didn't collaborate properly.
- The doctor: oblivious (per 'Joe') that his patient had been hurting all night, because he had not been on-call the night before. He walked into his patient's room to find a woman in agony and her irritated husband. He quickly promised to handle it by writing an order. His (possible) perceptions: the on-call doc ordered the wrong med, the nurse didn't handle the situation appropriately, my patient's husband is over-reacting.
- The nurse: quickly following a specific protocol involving receiving and verifying a new order, then pulling the medication, and taking it to her patient. This demanding man standing at the desk is making it difficult to do her job effectively. Her (possible) perceptions: I just received this order, along with 5 others. I am processing this one first. I am moving as fast as I can, what does this man expect?, the night nurse should have handled this differently, the doctor should have ordered more or a different med.
- Joe's wife: experiencing pain that, so far, has not been managed well by medications. To her, a minute feels like an hour. That 20 minute wait seemed like an eternity. She sees 'Joe' as her hero, and a man who can get things done!! Her perceptions: My husband is the best, I wouldn't have gotten what I need if he wasn't here, the nurses are slow and not concerned about my pain, the doctor ordered the wrong medication.
- Me: an outsider, hearing the account from 'Joe', after the fact. I was not present, nor am I aware of which hospital she was in. Since I am a nurse, I can empathize with the doctor and nurse providing care. Since I have been a patient, and have experienced severe pain, I can sympathize with 'Joe' & his wife. My perceptions: The doctor was following a specific cascade for pain medications, beginning with an effective med (not the strongest), then advancing in strength as needed. The nurse was lightning fast getting the med out, considering the fact that she's probably got 4-6 other patients, and since the doc just made rounds, she probably has orders to process on all of them. 'Joe's wife was in pain (and medicated), therefore, she was confused about the passage of time, 'Joe' was anxious because his wife was in pain. He was also being impatient because (whether conscious or not) he expects a certain level of professional "favoritism".
This is just one situation, and (other than mine) these are speculative perceptions.
Regardless, some of the take-away ideas are the same:
Your perception may or may not be correct. (the nurse cared a lot about her patient, in fact, she processed her medication order first.)
Before you react, you should be sure you have ALL of the information. (if 'Joe' had known the nurse was about to come down the hall with the med, he may not have been demanding.)
Consider all the players' feelings and possible perceptions before you make a judgement. (Understand that pain creates a skewed sense of time. Know that 'Joe' isn't a demanding man, but seeing a loved one in pain creates anxiety. Realize the nurse has to follow a process, and she is not intentionally being slow because she doesn't care.)
Since you do have all those senses with which to receive and process situations...use them! Before you react, contemplate every piece of information surrounding the occurrence you're about to react to. Put yourself in someone else's place. Feel what they feel.
Act accordingly.
