Past and Present

It's crazy how I can look back on so many different situations in my life and realize that I have managed to push SO many people away. Good people. People who loved me. 

I believe in my heart that I have stopped doing that now...but at the same time, 

I do not easily get close to anyone. 

I have only really allowed one person to actually get close in recent years, and that bit me pretty hard. I consider myself to be intelligent enough to learn from my mistakes, and the fact that I made that one doesn't bother me in the slightest anymore. I simply chalk it up to the fact that I had a lot of changes happening in my life all at once and 

I was in a vulnerable place. 

The snakes...they know exactly when to prey on the the weak and how to target the strong when we're down,  don't they? It's cool though, because they'll get 

what they've got coming. 

I have re-connected with some of the friends I had back in my younger days. I have kept in sketchy touch with them over the years, but recently have talked a lot more to some of them. They are all long distance, of course, so that helps me feel "safe" I suppose. I really really miss the close friendships I had. I am so glad that they have forgiven me for my shortcomings and shallowness and seem to love me just the same as ever. I saw one of them in person in August and am planning to go see another after the Holidays. I can not wait. I almost have butterflies in my belly just thinking about it!!  

:))))))))

 I just had the conversation with my sweet baby boy about how nearly ALL of the people I talk to nowadays are on line. Most of them I have never met, and I'm okay with that. It amazes me the avenues that the internet opens up for me. Like I said in my previous post, I am really happy to be able to network with people who are fellow artists. I love getting ideas from them, having the chance to share stories and even exchange art work. It's a real blessing for me.

It seems that creative people (at least the ones I have 'met') have a similar pattern of emotions as I do...the roller coaster type mood swings, for example. 

At one end of the spectrum there are times when I am on top of the world and those are the times when I seem to be really cranking out art work. I'm happy, I talk a lot, I don't mind receiving phone calls, emails or messages.  The opposite end is when I can just barely make myself get out of bed, I have frequent migraines, and I have a creative block and can't seem to get anything onto paper, canvas or even write any words. Those seem to be the times when I neglect my blog and my blogger, FB, Twitter & Etsy friends and just hide in the cave of my mind waiting for it to go away so I can feel good again. 

I don't know positively that everyone goes to such extremes, but most of them have discussed the "down" time and the "block" that goes with it. It may be assuming too much to believe that every creative person has as jacked up a brain as I do, but hey...

I suppose I'm a little narcissistic sometimes.

I do have ONE good friend here who was sort of an "instant friend" when we met. We are the same age, we are both artistic and although our backgrounds are totally different, we can just hang out together and be comfortable. Like family. She's wonderful & I love her.

I really appreciate being back 'home' and being able to really be myself. I was so very happy to get out of the South where people play nice to your face, then immediately go and gossip to whoever will listen about what a sinner you are...or whatever they can come up with to gossip about. 

DON'T GET ME WRONG!!!

I'm not stereotyping every person in the South because I do know some super great people from there, some are my current on line buds!  I'm just saying that the vast majority of those I met and believed were my friends, were really stabbing me in the back the whole time I lived there and I didn't even know it until I went through my divorce.

 I'm happy to be aware now. 

I'm glad I am in a place where most people are real. Not afraid to say it like it is...and once they do, it's out in the open and we can still be friends afterward.

I'm trying to practice the little poem at the beginning of this post! 

I'm getting closer to picking out a house that I like, by the way...I'll share pix once I decide and get approved. 

Thanks for the prayers! 

My Latest Project

I'm in the process of house hunting. Winter is supposedly a buyers market, so this is a good thing. I'm hoping to land a home where I can set up an art studio/workshop. I've looked at several and have a couple picked out. 

For those of you who pray--Please pray for me as I search! 

I love the internet. 

Why? 

Networking. This is something I have heavily relied on to keep my sanity over the past couple of years, but particularly the past 6 months or so. I believe I communicate more with people on line than I do with people I have actually met in real life. That's okay with me because I'm introverted anyway, so I enjoy being "alone" while I socialize on line.

I have started an etsy site called AngelaQ s Abstract Reality in order to advertise my artwork. I've been using Facebook, Twitter, and yes, I have an additional site: 

Angela Q s

I figure if I'm going to be an artist, I may as well advertise as much as possible. The more you're out there, the more chance there is of people actually seeing your work, right? 

This is my most recent work. I intentionally lightened up his face to accentuate his features a bit, especially the baby blues :)

I'm going to try to keep up on my blog posting a little more. 

I seem to get side tracked and simply don't make the time to blog, even though it's something I really enjoy. It's a great outlet, but then again, so is my artwork and I've stayed pretty busy with it recently. 

I'm working on a custom piece for my boy and I'm really excited about it. I hope he likes it when I'm finished. He will be here to spend the week for Thanksgiving (((((YAY!!!!))))) 

I can't wait. 

Oh, and he finally made it official! 

Did I predict that before it ever began? Yes, of course! 

Am I happy about it? 

UM....YEAH!! 

Thrilled!