Just When I Thought I Was Over It

I suppose that after years and years, I should expect the intentional "digs" and the darts aimed at me, right? Should it even effect me at all now that it's "over"? Probably not. It does though. When nearly half of your life is...or should I say was...devoted to something it should not come as a surprise that it can still cause you pain. I have to say that it DID come as a big surprise to me though. I guess that as I have been transforming back into myself, I had let my guard down because I really didn't see any need to have it up. Wow, Satan really can sneak in and zap you if you're not paying attention, can't he? I thought all those feelings were gone. I thought I was totally over it. I guess I was wrong. Chalk one up to the other side!! Yes, the enemy managed to peel the nearly healed scab off of that deep wound and poured in a cup of salt watered down with some rubbing alcohol... and what's worse? They're probably sitting back laughing their tails off.
God does not give us more than we can handle...so long as we realize that we NEED Him to help us through. This is something I tend to forget, especially since I moved out of the "Bible Belt" of the country and came back home to the quite liberal PNW. I do pray, but not often enough. I do read the Bible, but not often enough. I look to God in good and bad times...but not every time.
I realized something about myself though. Something I really didn't think about much before: I am insecure. Very much so, in fact. I seem to allow external things/words/actions effect me more than anyone ought to.
So, as I lick my wounds, I am resolved to turn fully to God. I will follow where He leads me. I will do my best not to allow this to keep me down. After all...I ought to be over it by now.