& the ride continues....

Everything has pros & cons, right? So, what about a rollercoaster ride? Yes, this simple, passive activity is no exception. In the beginning you sit down, strap in and feel somewhat prepared for what's about to happen. It starts with a little jolt, just to let ya know it's moving, then creeps along at a moderate but steady pace. Scenery begins to blur. Solid, seemingly permanent items lay down, then invert completely. At times you get to buzzing around so rapidly it's nauseating but you're enjoying it immensely, so glad to still be moving! The process repeats itself, perhaps the order of events will vary, but the ride continues all the same. It's redundant. Then there is the dreadful, most frightening part. It should not be so bad because there are rails to hold on to and you're strapped in! That doesn't prevent the fear welling up in your gut as you see it coming...getting closer and closer and as you begin to see the direction you're about to take the terror multiplies. It suffocates you as you reach the crest...but you are powerless to stop it or even change direction....and the downward spiral begins....down down down, further and further. Attempts to grasp something, anything to alter your speed or possilby bring comfort as you travel are in vain. Relaxation & ease of mind are nowhere in sight. The trip is unavoidable.....It's dark, gloomy on the way down. You can visualize the necessary steps which must be taken to get off the ride, but fear has you paralyzed like a phobia. You wonder if calling out loudly would help in some way....but what would you say? I mean, you got on this ride yourself.....or did you? Regardless, here you remain, terrified, sobbing, screaming for help, support or even a little empathy... (not for company though, never that because you would never in a million years subject anyone you know & like or even anyone you don't like to this part of the ride.) all to no avail...this stretch of the ride is to be endured alone or at least it has been up until now.... & here it comes again....my own downward spiral. It's thick, all around me like I'm in a massive container of pudding, sinking slowly but steadily. Knowing that struggling will only cause me to sink more rapidly and wondering if I will proceed unil I'm completely buried this time or if my feet will once again touch bottom just prior to being totally submerged so I can begin the slow, steady climb out so I can continue the ride..... & the ride continues...........